When Performance Is All That Matters: Why Transactional Leadership Fails in the Long Run

In today’s high-performance work culture, there’s a popular saying that echoes through offices and boardrooms:

“Work isn’t family.”

It’s true—your workplace isn’t your home, and your colleagues aren’t your siblings. But let’s be honest: when this phrase is used as a justification for being emotionally disconnected, cold, or unavailable as a leader, it becomes a problem.

The point isn't to turn the workplace into a personal therapy session or a family reunion. Rather, it’s about being human enough to lead with empathy—especially when your team needs it the most.

The Transaction Trap: Only Valuing People When They Perform

Imagine this: you’re an employee who gives your best day after day. Then, one season, life throws you a curveball—illness, burnout, grief, or even a creative slump. Suddenly, you’re no longer the high performer you used to be.

Now imagine your manager—who once praised your excellence—is nowhere to be found. Your calls are ignored. Your presence in meetings is overlooked. You're only missed when the numbers start to dip.

Unfortunately, this isn’t fiction.

According to a 2023 Gallup report, only 23% of employees worldwide feel that their leaders genuinely care about their wellbeing. Even worse, the same report found that teams with emotionally disconnected leadership report higher turnover and lower productivity.

So why do so many leaders still operate in this transactional mode—where team members are only as valuable as their last result?

KYT Over KYC: Why Leaders Must Learn to “Know Your Team”

In the world of customer experience, “KYC” (Know Your Customer) is a gold standard. Brands that invest in understanding their clients tend to build loyalty, reduce churn, and increase lifetime value.

What if leaders adopted a similar approach with their teams?

Enter KYT—Know Your Team.
It’s not a soft skill. It’s a strategic leadership advantage.

When leaders take time to learn their team’s communication styles, personal values, goals, and challenges, they create a foundation of trust. And trust is the currency of sustainable performance.

Here’s a simple truth: people are more loyal to leaders who show up for them in their low moments, not just their high ones.

A Story That Resonates: The Forgotten Star Performer

Let me tell you about Titi, a former high-flyer at a creative agency. For three years, she was the go-to person for high-profile projects, often pulling off seemingly impossible deadlines with flair.

Then her mother fell critically ill. Titi’s performance understandably dropped. Her requests for schedule flexibility were met with silence. The only message she received from leadership during that time was a passive-aggressive email reminding her that "deliverables don’t wait for personal problems."

She left the company within months.

That agency not only lost a brilliant employee—they also gained a reputation for being cold, which eventually impacted their talent pipeline.

Empathy wouldn’t have cost them a dime. But neglect cost them a star.

Reality Check: Yes, Results Matter—But So Does Relationship

We’re not asking leaders to hand out rewards to non-performers or ignore business goals. Results are critical. Performance is non-negotiable.
But here’s the paradox: leaders who only focus on performance without nurturing people often lose both.

A team member who feels abandoned when they’re down will not stay loyal when they’re back up.
In contrast, leaders who provide genuine support build teams that go the extra mile, especially in pressure seasons.

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” – John C. Maxwell

How to Practice Empathy-Driven Leadership

If you’re a leader, here are five simple ways to begin:

Check in without an agenda – Don’t wait until there’s a deadline crisis.
Celebrate effort, not just results – Acknowledge progress, not just wins.
Create psychological safety – Let your team know it's okay to be human.
Offer flexibility in tough seasons – This creates lasting loyalty.
Learn to listen deeply – Understanding precedes influence.

Final Thoughts: Building Trust Is the Real ROI

Transactional leadership may deliver short-term success. But if you're building for long-term impact, connection matters more than control.

Your team doesn’t need a parent—but they do need a leader who sees them, not just their outputs.
So no, work isn’t family. But it should never feel like a cold transaction either.

After all, people who feel seen, supported, and understood don’t just work for you—they fight for the vision with you.

Let’s stop leading like machines and start connecting like humans.

What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever felt abandoned by leadership during a low season? Or did someone once show up for you in a way you’ll never forget? Let’s start the conversation.

Written by: Mary Ewere
Founder, Strategic Content 4 Impact
Leadership & Organizational Culture Consultant

Keywords: empathy-driven leadership, employee engagement, workplace culture, team loyalty, leadership and trust, know your team

#LeadershipMatters
#EmpathyAtWork
#WorkplaceCulture
#KnowYourTeam
#StrategicLeadership

Mary Ewere - 2025

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